Near To You
by Meganlovesjb
Summary: A Joe Jonas one shot. "Near to you...I am healing but it's taking so long." When Adrianna's husband Nick is killed in atragic accident will Joe be able to comfort her?


_**Near To You**_

**In case you guys haven't noticed I've been at a bit or a writer's block with my two fics. Anyways, I got this idea for a one shot the other day when listening to one of my favourite songs Near To You – A Fine Frenzy, and I haven't really been able to get it out of my head. So I decided to write it so it would leave me alone. Hopefully **_**Fighting For Love **_**and **_**Crude Remarks & Changing Hearts**_** will have an update up soon. I wouldn't technically call this a "song fic," because I don't really like song fics and it's more of just a one shot inspired by a song...Idk. Also, this isn't my typical smutty one shot and I have no idea where it came from, hope you enjoy it anyways. Love you all. **

"_He and I were something beautiful...it couldn't last..."_

"You're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on Mrs. Jonas," Nick said to me in the car one afternoon. We were on our way to the airport to catch a flight. It was time for our much deserved winter vacation. I smiled at him and he kissed the back of my hand tenderly. We'd been married for three years but everyday still felt like our honeymoon. I never imagined myself so happy.

"Well Mr. Jonas, you aren't so bad yourself," I teased, squeezing his hand lovingly. His warm eyes met mine. His beautiful smile wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed it until I thought it would burst. How this man brought me so much job I'll never know. Nick kept one hand on the wheel, brushing my hair from my face lovingly with the other before reclaiming my hand to hold it tightly against his.

"The weather is supposed to be beautiful in the Bahamas this week," he commented, turning down a back road to the airport. The snow was falling heavier now and the wind shield wipers were just uncovering the front window in time for it to fill back up again. I had faith in Nick's driving and wasn't worried however.

"I can't wait," I smiled. "Every day under the sun and every night with you, this week will be pure heaven," I said leaning my head on his shoulder and grasping it. He sighed and leaned down to kiss my forehead gently.

"You make my entire life heaven. I can't imagine spending it with anyone else," he said lovingly. My heart melted. We were totally having a moment. This man was beyond perfect.

"Did you get the king sized bed?" I teased.

He chuckled lightly. "Always baby. We need lots of room to move around."

I smirked at him and was about to return his joke with a witty remark of my own when I felt the tires shift on the road and slide slightly. I shot my eyes up and out the front window. It felt like we'd hit black ice and the car was swerving slightly on the road, sliding over the ice. Nick was struggling to keep control of the vehicle and I felt my hand squeeze his tightly in fear.

"Nick," I said, my voice dripping in fear. I looked over at him, his jaw was clenched and his knuckles had turned white around the steering wheel. He was concentrating so hard on trying to get us off of the ice he didn't seem to hear me. He had been furiously steering the car to the right, trying to get away from the ice and when it finally started to veer I realized he had the steering wheel turned too sharply. The car shot to the right of the road incredibly fast, too fast. Nick finally looked my way and I met his eyes. There were no words but our eyes said it all. I'll never forget the look on his face as the car rolled into the ditch and I lost consciousness. The last look I'd ever seen on his face. A look full of sadness and love, a look that said I'm sorry and never forget me. A look that haunts my dreams, the face I see when I close my eyes.

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"_Such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced. I'm still reeling from the loss; still a little bit delirious."_

I remember little of the hospital visit. Only that they told me I'd been in a comma for three days and that I'd woken up in time to attend my husband's funeral which would be the next day. They said I was incredibly lucky to be alive and that Nick was not so fortunate. I'll never forget the feeling that came over me the second they told me. It was like I couldn't breathe, like time had stopped and the world no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered to me, the center of my universe, my everything... he was gone. I couldn't believe it. I remembered furiously shaking my head back in forth in denial. I remembered the doctor grabbing my arms and telling me to quiet down so he could talk to me. I remember not wanting to listen to anyone, but most of all I remember Joe.

Joe had been there, Joe was the only one I could talk to, the only one I believed and the only one who I knew shared my pain. He had lost a brother that he loved dearly and I had lost my other half.

Joe walked in the morning of the funeral as I sat in my hospital bed, still trying to deny the fact that the very man who meant everything to me was gone forever. Still trying to ignore the fact that he would never touch me again, that he would never hold me, laugh with me, kiss me, make love to me, and be there for me. I would never see his beautiful smile again of hear his melodic laugh in my ear. He wouldn't leave kisses down my neck in the morning to wake me up, or whisper loving words in my ear as I tried to sleep. He wouldn't hold me when I was sad or scared or talk about forever with me, because forever was over.

Just the memory of his voice, the voice I would forget in time brought tears to my eyes. The realization that my whole world was crashing down hit me hard as Joe walked in the room and I tried to quiet the sobs that were now shaking my body. He stopped in the doorway briefly taking in the site in front of him. The rest of our families had come and gone in the last few days, but it was Joe who I knew understood me. It was Joe who felt my pain. It was Joe's heart who was broken with the love of this amazing man who'd touched both of our lives. I expected Kevin would understand, but after marrying and moving away he'd lost touch with his family to some extent and hadn't stayed as close with his brother as Joe had.

Joe made his way over to my bedside slowly, stopping a few feet from me hesitantly. He took in the site of me. One of my arms was bandaged, my leg was in a cast and my head was gently wrapped. Nothing serious by any means. _Fucking nothing_. Nick had been killed and I was barely hurt. Bruises, a few breaks and a bump on the head. I had the rest of my life to heal and get over it. Nick's had ended far too soon. Too soon to have children with me and watch them grow up, damn it he would be an amazing father. Too soon to walk our daughter down the aisle, or to grow old with me. _Too goddamn soon_. My tears started up again at the thought and I sat up, burying my head in my hands.

Joe moved from his motionless spot in front of me to gently sit beside me on the bed. "Adrianna?" He said gently. I shook my head back in forth in my hands furiously.

"He's gone Joe! He's gone..." I said looking up to meet his eyes for the first time, tears clouding my own.

His jaw locked as he held my gaze for a moment before pulling me into him and hugging me tightly. "I know..." He said quietly in my ear, his own voice breaking.

"I can't...I miss him so much...It hurts so, so much," I choked out through another sob, grabbing onto his shirt tightly.

"I know, I miss him too..." He said stroking my hair lightly.

"I feel like you're the only person who understands," I admitted, pulling away from him to look him in the eye.

"I feel the same way," he said reaching forward to wipe my tears away gently.

"My brother loved you with his whole heart Adriana. You made him so happy. I hope you know that I love you too and I am here for you. Let me know if you need anything, anything at all. You aren't alone," he said kissing my forehead gently. It reminded me so much of the way Nick used to do that in a loving gesture to me. The way his lips brushed my skin was so similar it was almost painful. I winced as he pulled away.

"Thank you Joe. You have no idea how much that means to me," I said quietly.

He nodded. His arms were still around me in a comforting gesture. "Now get dressed and let's go say goodbye to Nicky," he said gently. I took a deep breath and nodded.

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"_Near to you, I am healing but it's taking so long. Cause though he's gone and you are wonderful, it's hard to move on. Yet, I'm better near to you."_

The funeral was the most heart breaking hour of my life. Watching my beautiful husband, the sun that lit up my world and kept me warm lowered into the ground ripped my heart out. The thought of Nick lying in the ground, cold and alone was too much to even let myself fully consider. It make me feel cold until Joe slipped his warm arms around me and the sun rose again just a little. Not much but a little. It was something. Joe and I cried together, we held each other and we began to heal together.

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The next few weeks were the toughest I'd ever lived through in my life. Every time I thought of Nick, every time I touched one of his old shirts and smelled him again, torturing myself, it broke my heart into another little piece. I wondered how many more times it could break before there was nothing left. Sleeping at night was the hardest. Lying there, staring at his empty side of the bed, cold and alone and yearning for nothing more in the world then his arms around me.

Joe however, was absolutely amazing. He was there for me all the time. We'd been spending so much time together and he'd really been helping me move past everything. I would never forget, but I could at least attempt to start living my life in a somewhat normal manner again. There was this unspoken understanding between Joe and I. We just got each other and it was like when we were together, breathing was a little less of an effort.

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"_You and I have something different and I'm enjoying it cautiously. I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard, to get back to who I used to be. He's disappearing, fading suddenly. I'm so close to being yours, won't you stay with me. Please."_

It had been two months since Nick left us. Two months since the world has become a darker place. Two months since Joe had became the most supporting and caring guy I'd known and two months since I'd started crying myself to sleep until I was too tired to continue and I passed out from exhaustion. Joe was over for supper, we'd made pasta. It was easy and quick and hey, who doesn't like pasta? I was bringing the last of the boxes we'd had lying around upstairs up to be stored. We'd folded Nick's clothes and such up and I was storing them in my closet for now, unable to part with them just yet. Being the klutz I was, I tripped on the way through the doorframe and the box fell from my grasp as items went flying in front of me. I groaned and starting refolding shirts, trying my best not to smell them when I caught sight of an old picture that had fallen from the box among other random items. It was an old one of Nick and me from our honeymoon. I remembered the look on the random Mexican man's face as Nick handed him the camera asking him to take a picture of us on the beach. He took the camera and Nick lifted me up into his arms, both of us laughing hysterically as he placed a loving kiss on my cheeks in between giggles. We were both in our bathing suits sharing a kiss and trying to suppress or laughter as the picture was snapped. However, you could see the outline of Nick's adorable smirk as his lips pressed against mine.

I smiled brightly at the memory, my heart breaking a little as I stared at the photograph before I let myself do something I'd been saving for my bedroom at night. I didn't let myself cry anymore unless I was alone but right now I just couldn't help it. A sob escaped my lips as I threw the picture back in the box and stood up, grabbing the heavy box and lifting it back into my arms.

I heard Joe's footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly tried to get the box in the closet before he joined me in the room so I could wipe my face and get myself together, but there wasn't time.

"Adriana?" Joe asked, peeking his head in the door way. He saw me struggling to get the box in the closet and rushed over to grab it from me.

"Let me get that," he said grabbing it and stopping dead when he saw the photo on top of the other items. His face grew worried as he looked over at me, meeting my eyes. He sighed and his jaw hardened. "Arianna..." he said gently.

I wiped my face quickly, averting my gaze. Joe dropped the box and pulled me into him, placing my head under his chin as he whispered soft words in my ear and stroked my hair.

"It hurts so much Joe, all the time. And I try and ignore the pain but it won't go away. I see his face when I close my eyes. I hear his laugh in my dreams. Sometimes I even catch a hint of his smell around the house, and that is the worst of all. I want it to stop Joe. I need it to stop," I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me and holding him for everything he was worth.

"I know it hurts..." he whispered, I could feel his own tears falling gently.

"Make it stop Joe. Take the pain away..." I begged him, looking up to meet his eyes again. He looked down at me with such pity and sadness in his eyes, it hurt to look. He held my gaze for a moment, brushing my hair gently before his lips crashed down on mine. His lips were gentle and loving and reminded me too painfully much of Nick's, but they felt good. They felt warm and comforting and for a second my heart stopped hurting and I could breathe again.

As his kissed mine and his hands roamed my body I almost let myself pretend for a moment that they were Nick's hands, that those were Nick's lips, that it was Nick's touch. As he lay me down on the bed, kissing my neck gently the way Nick used to do in the mornings, I almost let myself believe it was him, almost.

Joe started slipping off clothes and I helped him. Before I knew it we were both naked, our bodies touching, our kisses becoming more passionate and intense. There we were, two people, hurting and broken trying to find a moment of ease from the pain, and we found it, in each other. As Joe kissed his way down my body I let myself forget for a moment that Nick would never do that to me again, that Nick would never touch me in that way again and would never again tell me he loved me after we made love. I surrendered myself to Joe's touch and soon we were moving together as one, our body's slick with moisture from the effort and our heart beating fast, working properly for the first time in two months.

As our breathing slowed and our heart rates returned to normal, Joe held me close to him. We lay there, embracing each other and taking comfort in the touch of one another. I didn't know what this meant for us, all I knew was that I was better when I with Joe. I could breathe, I could forget for brief moments why my life was like hell on earth and I could let myself be happy for small amounts of time when I was with him. If that's all either of us would get out of the rest of our lives, we would have to take it because we were better together than apart.

"_I only know that I am better where you are. I only know that I belong where you are...I'm better near to you."_

**I killed myself a little when writing this. Why do I write things that make me cry? What the hell kind of mood am I in today. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this, I worked pretty hard on it so please leave me a comment. Comments make my life :]**


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